Thursday, September 17, 2015

Jealous


Dear Daddy,

Today is the 3rd year I am wishing you happy birthday from afar. I sit here thinking about what I would have written in your birthday card. Most likely it would have been, "Look who's GREAT at 78!" I would have called you this morning to wish you the best day.  I would have asked you what your day was going to entail and where dinner was going to be. But, instead I am just thinking about these things I would have done. I have really come to hate past tense.

I daydream a lot about you. When I run, I think about how extra special my life would be if you were still here. I have many life scenarios that will never come true. I often wake thinking you are not really gone. I also worry a lot. I worry Sophia & Kalista won't remember you someday. I miss all your worldly advice. I miss having you as my sounding board. I miss you.

I heard a revised version of a song the other day and I thought of you. The lyrics to this song in its' entirety have a different meaning. But I watched a young man sing a portion of this song, who's interpretation was of another. I was so touched by his rendition and found I truly related to his version/meaning:
I am jealous you are in a better place. I am so jealous of those elements of nature that still feel you. I am jealous Heaven has you. I am jealous I can't be with you. I am so jealous it hurts to breathe. 


JEALOUS
I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain

I'm jealous of the wind
that ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind

Cause I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say
I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me


Happy Birthday Daddy

I love you,

Jennifer

Thursday, September 3, 2015

August Recap

School is back in session and I have been reminiscing about the few weeks preceding 
this annual event. I already long for summer 2016.

Sophia & Addy
I just love how these two pick-up right where they leave off.
Different schools...not a problem.
A precious moment of girl talk bonding.
Me and my munchkins!
Not so munchkins, I guess, huh?
While daddy was doing this:
We did this:
Shopping trip!
Cooling off at Menchies
Enjoying Dad's catch:
More beach time!
Why I love SB:
Glamping at El Capitan Canyon
 Pretty sure this "cute" livestock was the source of David's poison oak.
I won't share those photos. Your'e welcome.
 Just me and my shadow.
Makes me think of this old post.
Missing my Jeannine's breakfast buddy:
So cheers to summer 2015.
Now hurry up school and be done already!