When I started this blog it was with the intention to share the The Halls with our loved ones and friends, but I've come to realize it is also a great way to share feelings. Oh Lord, don't worry I'm not going to turn this blog into a personal diary. But maybe an occasional "touchy-feely" post would be a gratifying, cathartic experience for me. Besides, posting might save me some $$$ for the occasional psychiatric visit I feel I sometimes need. Because after all, NO ONE has the perfect life! Which in all honesty I do feel like people want to portray the PERFECT family life. I am not afraid or ashamed to admit the imperfections of my life. And although I rely heavily on my family and friends for those certain times of need, sometimes it's good to just write. SO, on that note....
Sophia and I have been at each other's throats. We've been bumping heads for some reason. Oh silly me...could it because she is 3!! Luckily I have had David to sound-off to. However, I'm sure I'm not the only wife/mommy to say this but sometimes the husband just doesn't really understand to the fullest extent. And that's okay! That's why we have our girlfriends : ) It's just been a hard couple of weeks. A lot of my friends have told me 3 to 4.5 is the worst and the Terrible 2's really don't exist...oh why didn't I take note? Lately I've just been feeling like a bad mommy because of all the bickering. I'm not going to go into detail on how I've been wanting to pack my bags and go on vacation BY MYSELF. But I will report Sophia & I are working on turning that proverbial corner. : ) I hope to share the following excerpt from this blog with Sophia someday.
I know you are just a child and you need me to help teach the ways of the world. I know there will be plenty of times where you teach me the new ways of the world. I know it's not always going to be easy for you. I also know you are very smart and will overcome those times of difficulty. I know there will be times I lose my mind. I know there will be times you lose your mind. I promise, we will both end up on the same path. I know there will be times you feel like you hate me. But I also know you will feel horrible for thinking such thoughts. I know there will be times you will put me to the ultimate test. And when those times happen, I know I will feel like I've failed you in some way. I know there will be times when we are going to cry from frustration and anger; and your dad will wish he was on vacation. I also know will we have a lifetime of laughter and happiness. How do I know all of these things? Because I am your mommy and was once a young child. Yes my darling, there will be times when I just don't know what I am doing. But no matter what Sophia Grace, I will always know I LOVE YOU.
Oh and why the title of my post? Because big girls DO cry - even mommies.