Saturday, April 4, 2015

My Sunshine

Dear Daddy,

Ha! So I found this picture the other day. Remember, the surprise retirement party? I couldn't resist even though I knew you would hate the attention. I can't believe this was 15 years ago. I was 27 and you were only 62. 

How lucky was I to have the opportunity to work with you?! So many things would never have happened if I didn't follow you into the operating room. I probably never would have found my "voice" and learn to speak up for myself. I would not have found that passion in helping others. I would not have found my oldest friends to date, Kathie & Anne - 21 years of their friendship! I would not have learned how to curse up a storm from all those surgeons; well I guess I could have skipped over that lesson, but I've got that under control now. hahaha Most importantly, I would have never found David.

It's two years today. So much has happened since you've been gone. At times I feel guilty to admit, but even though you aren't here to share in my adventures anymore, life has been good. When you died, a big piece of me died too. I thought there was no way I would experience pure joy and happiness without you. I was wrong; but you already knew.

When I look at Sophia & Kalista, I am reminded of the preciousness of  life and time. And although I know it is alright to have those moments of despair and anguish, I also know to purposely live a life without love and joy would be selfish for I have two amazing "little" girls who count on me everyday; the way I always counted on you. 

I can still hear you sing this song. Sophia remembers you singing it to her too. 
Here is my version to you:

You are my sunshine, my beautiful sunshine.
I think of you when my days are gray.
You've always known, Dad, how much I love you.
I know you are around me, in every way.

There are some nights, when I lay sleeping.
And I dream of us, arm-in-arm.
But when I wake up, I see your grandchildren.
And so I hold my head up high.

I'll always love you.
And I know, for you it will be the same.
Someday we will be together.
But until then, know my heart will never change.

You are my sunshine, my beautiful sunshine.
I think of you every day.
You've always known, Dad, how much I love you.
Thank you for being around me, in every way.

All my love,
Your Little Girl

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