Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Building Confidence

Some people have that certain ability to always be confident no matter what the situation. Even if they know things may not pan out the way they want, they still exude confidence. And then there are some people who struggle to feel an ounce of self confidence even when there is a 99.9% chance things will be in their favor.

As a parent, aside from happiness, there is nothing more I want for my children than to have them be and feel confident. It is definitely something I lacked as a child. And if these things are inherited, well then, Sophia has me to blame. And she can also blame me for the early childhood shyness. If she gets anymore of my traits she is going to need a lot of therapy later. : )

I wish I had a magic spell to cast upon Sophia; a confidence/self-esteem spell. I wish there was more I could say or do to make her believe in herself. To my friends, family, and other parents Sophia seems to have it all together. She's smart, determined, beautiful, funny, athletic, and I could go on forever. But, there is just one piece that makes all of these things irrelevant to her. Confidence.

For those who know our family well, it's no breaking news that Sophia enjoys club swimming. We think she is pretty awesome, but as Sophia has pointed out to us time and time again (not just with swimming), "You are my parents. You are supposed to say that kind of stuff." Ouch! Well, she doesn't know her mom well enough in that department. I stopped handing out meaningless compliments a very long time ago. Any hoo. Club swimming has been a blessing and a curse. It has sparked a little bit of positive self-esteem. But because Type A people are never satisfied, it has produced a lot of tears because of unrealistic comparisons/goals (but realistic for an 8 year old) and the lack of confidence knowing it will happen some day.

So in comes social media. Yes, that's right. Social media is used for so many reasons. It's a way to share thoughts, milestones, gratitude, and every day life (or unicorn life - lol). I enjoy posting about my children's accomplishments, but not for the reasons some may think. Confidence. There's that word again. In general, I think kids tend to "hear" your words when other people say them. Just like most kids behave differently (hopefully better) for others than they do for their parents. So I am adding social media to my confidence teaching tool. And yes, it has been working. Slowly (like turtle slow - Sophia is a tough nut to crack), but surely.

So to all those who click on that "like" button (yes, I share these with Sophia) and give her props when you see her - THANK YOU! It warms my heart seeing Sophia smile from ear-to-ear when someone acknowledges her latest accomplishment. She is starting to sporadically feel good about herself. Confident. And that's all I want.

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