Sunday, May 5, 2013

Signs

It's been a month since my dad died. And this is a much needed therapeutic post.


Signs. Up until a month ago, I never experienced any true signs. I have believed friends 100% when they have shared their signs. I never doubted them once. I marveled at their emotions. And now, I can say I have my own sign experiences to share . . .

LOVE & READINESS:
Before I arrived to my parent's home, I was told my dad was loosely coherent. I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked through the door. To my surprise, my dad greeted me with open arms, gave me a huge hug and said, "Oh! You're here!" From that moment on, we talked and reminisced. He recorded messages for my kids and David. I was able to tell him over and over how much I loved him and how lucky I was to have him as my dad. Our visit was one of no regrets, just love. He died the next morning. I know in my heart he waited for me. This was his last gift for me.

COMFORT:
Kathie and Anne are two friends I have known for over 17 years. Kathie is a nurse and Anne is a vascular surgeon. They have been my support through everything in my life; especially with my dad. All of us worked together for years and they were just as fond of him as I was. There were 2 nurses who were involved with my dad's care at home. One was Kathie and the other Anne Marie (Marie is my friend, Anne's, middle name). Not sure how they actually spell their names, but I am taking the liberty to spell them the way my two best friends spell their names.

I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE:
The first time I was alone, after my dad died, I was in my car. I turned on the engine and a new song immediately started airing on the radio. It was the song my dad and I danced to at my wedding, "Wind Beneath My Wings." And for a split second I knew I would be okay, someday.

5 comments:

  1. So amazing, Jen. He will always be with you. Much love!

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  2. Almost just cried. Beautiful. He is with you and you will continue to get those signs. My dad passed almost 20 years ago and I keep getting mine:-) xoxo

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  3. Jen,

    Thank you for sharing this. I am sitting here with tears running down my cheeks. I am so sorry for this deep loss. I am glad, though that these amazing signs have begun to be of some comfort in the midst. Thinking of you. xoxo

    Nicole

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  4. I get choked up again... He WAS waiting for you:)
    Missing you yesterday! Hugs!!

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